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Fiat Panda mk1 1980-2003!

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Now lemme tell y’all somethin’ ‘bout this lil’ ride right here. This here’s one of them cars that’s low-key badass as hell , but I ain’t gotten ‘round to writin’ a proper piece on it yet, ‘cept way back when I mentioned her cousin, the SEAT Marbella. We talkin’ ‘bout the one and only Fiat Panda , y’all. This tough lil’ critter rolled off the line all the way from 1980 clear through to 2003. And lemme tell ya, they made all kinds. You got yer low-slung city slicker version, then you got yer high-clearance four-wheel-drive son of a gun that’ll crawl up a mountain like a goat with nitro. Yeah, she’s a small fry, sure, but she had grit! They even made an electric version called the Fiat Panda Elettra — way ahead o’ her time, like a Tesla’s great-grandmama in orthopedic shoes. But them four-wheel-drive models? Oh lordy. That’s where the magic happened. They had all kinds o’ wild trims — one called the Rock Moretti that was open-air and ready to party, and one they used as a dang van . The...
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Oldsmobile Bravada/GMC Jimmy /Chevrolet Blazer S-10

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Now lemme tell y’all somethin’ ‘bout the Oldsmobile Bravada , the GMC Jimmy , and the Chevrolet S - 10 Blazer . They’re pretty much the same beast under the hood, just wearin’ different hats and showin’ off their own fancy emblems. And boy, do they sport that square-jawed, boxy-as-hell 1980s design that kept goin’ strong well into the ‘90s. That ain’t just style, that’s attitude , son. You’ve seen these rides in a bunch o’ American flicks, no doubt. Usually it’s the bad guy’s goons ridin’ in ‘em, creepin’ around dark corners with shades on at night and Uzis under the seats. And sure as shootin’, here comes some musclebound hero like Lorenzo Lamas, Steven Seagal, Dolph freakin’ Lundgren, Van Damme, or good ol’ Sly Stallone tryin’ to take ‘em down. But it ain’t never that easy, oh no. First there’s gotta be some setbacks – maybe a couple o’ the hero’s best buddies get smoked, or one of his old war pals bites the dust in slow motion. Then, just when you think things can’t get worse, the...
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Daihatsu Hijet!

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Now lemme tell y’all somethin’: the  Daihatsu Hijet  is one dang cool little rig. I wrote ‘bout it not long ago, though back then I called it a Piaggio Porter. And if you rewind way on back, I’d even mentioned it as the Subaru Libero. Same soul, different boots. This here sixth generation Hijet? Looked like it came straight outta the early ‘80s with them sharp lines and boxy charm – and believe it or not, they kept churnin’ ‘em out in China all the way up till 2002. Over in Indonesia, it rolled off the line till ‘92. The seventh gen got itself a passport too sold down in South Korea as the Kia Towner, and yep, they kept that baby alive till 2002 as well. And guess what? They’re still buildin’ the Hijet to this day! That’s staying power, partner.
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Piaggio Trucks!

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That there Piaggio Porter ’s been struttin’ around with the same ol’ boxy ‘80s look since ’92, and dang if they ain’t still crankin’ ‘em out today. It’s so dang tiny, you can drive it like an angry trucker with a busted muffler, a crusty Wunderbaum swingin’ from the rearview, and a pair o’ boxing gloves bouncin’ in the dash like you’re ready for a brawl at the next red light. Same goes for the Piaggio Quargo – near 'bout the same kinda rig, built from 2004 to 2016. Just hop in, mash the gas, and pretend you’re haulin’ moonshine through the hills. Ain’t nobody gonna stop ya, mostly ‘cause they’ll be laughin’ too hard! Now the Piaggio Ape , she ain’t nothin’ but a teeny-tiny three-wheeled truck, built for squeezin’ through them narrow, twisty Italian alleyways. One time, after our family landed at the airport in Chania, we got picked up in a VW Passat B3 – this was back in ’97 – and the fella drivin’ us sure had a heavy foot. He blew past some car with floodlights the size of dinne...
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Volvo 940 & Volvo 960

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The Volvo 940 was no doubt the last real-deal boxy Volvo before Ford came along and bought up the whole outfit in the '90s. That ol’ 940 kept that classic square look all the way ‘til 1998. Just like the good ol’ 240, the 940 was used by the police up in Norway for years, heck, they were still runnin’ ‘em up ‘til 2010, maybe even later. I remember one of them 940 cop cars showin’ up at my school one time ‘cause somebody shot an arrow clean into the wooden school wall. Now here’s the funny part – that exact spot used to be where one of the teachers parked a tiny ol’ Suzuki FZ50 moped. That same scooter had been stolen once by some punk kid wearin’ nothin’ but a T-shirt, no helmet or nothin’. And to make it even more wild, that moped had just been sittin’ there with a flat tire not long before, but the wheels were back on and rollin’ by the time the kid nabbed it. Those lady cops in the Volvo had to scoot off for a bit ‘cause there was a false alarm 'bout a robbery at the post o...
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