Piaggio Trucks!


That there Piaggio Porter’s been struttin’ around with the same ol’ boxy ‘80s look since ’92, and dang if they ain’t still crankin’ ‘em out today. It’s so dang tiny, you can drive it like an angry trucker with a busted muffler, a crusty Wunderbaum swingin’ from the rearview, and a pair o’ boxing gloves bouncin’ in the dash like you’re ready for a brawl at the next red light.

Same goes for the Piaggio Quargo – near 'bout the same kinda rig, built from 2004 to 2016. Just hop in, mash the gas, and pretend you’re haulin’ moonshine through the hills. Ain’t nobody gonna stop ya, mostly ‘cause they’ll be laughin’ too hard!



Now the Piaggio Ape, she ain’t nothin’ but a teeny-tiny three-wheeled truck, built for squeezin’ through them narrow, twisty Italian alleyways. One time, after our family landed at the airport in Chania, we got picked up in a VW Passat B3 – this was back in ’97 – and the fella drivin’ us sure had a heavy foot. He blew past some car with floodlights the size of dinner plates, and when Mom called him out on his drivin’, he just smiled and said, ‘Relax, he’s a very good driver. He is careful.

Well… sure didn’t feel careful.

On that same ride, my old man told me ‘bout the time he flew into Florence with some of his work buddies, just to take a look at some pipes, believe it or not. The minute they landed, they noticed the taxi drivers were hollerin’ at each other like they were settin’ up for a dang street race. And wouldn’t ya know it, next thing they knew, it turned into one!

Those drivers took off like bats outta hell, flyin’ through them tight Florence streets so fast that folks were scatterin’ left and right like extras in an Italian action flick. And who knows – maybe one o’ them little Piaggio Apes got caught up in it too, bouncin’ off curbs and slidin’ sideways through the chaos.

Truth be told, you could probably haul tail in a Piaggio Ape through downtown Oslo too and if you’re feelin’ entrepreneurial, slap a pizza oven or a taco grill in the back and start yourself a takeout business in Grünerløkka. Nothin’ says hipster street cred like servin’ food out the bed of a three-wheeled Italian lawnmower.





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